KANSAS CITY, Mo. - It's a growing problem for couples. Not enough intimacy.
Get women together and it's often the topic of conversation: Sex, or the lack of it.
"It's more like one more chore when you're a mother of two and work full time," says working mom Angela Cox.
"A woman needs to feel appreciated to have sex. A man feels appreciated when he gets sex," explains working mom Alex Petrella.
"It's not that I don't love my husband. I want to spend time with him but it's simply that daily life is exhausting," confesses Petrella.
Gynecologist and Sex Therapist Dr. Maureen Whelihan says she hears that from women everyday. They're wiped out and so is their sex drive.
“It just sounds like so much work so they'd rather not," says Dr. Whelihan.
So why after a long tiring day at work are men "ready for love" and women are not?
“Because sex for men is a stress reliever while sex for women requires stress relief," says Dr. Whelihan.
And stress relief is something that women are often missing. Women are busy working, caring for children, cooking and cleaning. These are the facts of life that can leave them feeling not only exhausted but unappreciated and resentful.
"You can't mention enough the grudges women are holding, their angry thoughts that they think they are expected to do too much and not being recognized by their partner,” explains Dr. Whelihan.
There's a simple solution according to Dr. Whelihan, something she recommends to her sex therapy couples.
“Men should over the wife's household duties two nights a week."
"Definitely, if you're freed up from those responsibilities you are a perkier by the end of the day," says Cox.
On their night off, the doctor recommends women exercise, drink a glass of wine, read a book--something that relaxes them.
"What my husband and I will do occasionally is when I get home before him I will sit in his recliner and he'll wait on me and those are good nights," says working mom Laura Masiello.
Step two: If possible plan a date night and send the kids to grandmas or a friends.
“It needs to be a night when women know there are no children coming home," says Dr. Whelihan.
Step three: Guys, set the mood.
"Really what women want is passion they want to be touched, non-sexually at first," says Dr. Whelihan.
Light some candles, turn on the music and remember why you fell in love in the first place.
“Sometimes it's just recognizing hey--I don't know how you do this all day---let me rub your back. It sounds corny to men--ugh, why should I have to go through this. But five minutes of that means a world to your partner. Just the touch that is non sexual touch that says I'm here to relax you--- it will always lead to the road you want--it's gets you going that way," says Dr. Whelihan.
